Blue Crab Syndrome

Some call it the crab mentality. I call it the inability to be happy for others, but Crab Mentality or Blue Crab Syndrome does have a better ring to it. WiseGeek.com explains, "This concept references an interesting phenomenon that occurs in buckets of crabs. If one crab attempts to escape from a bucket of live crabs, the others will pull it back down rather than allowing it to get free. Sometimes, the crabs seem almost malicious, waiting until the crab has almost escaped before yanking it back into the pot."

You know those people that never compliment? Never encourage? For some reason they can't find it in themselves be happy for others? Crabs--we all have them. Maybe you were one once, and that's okay! Life is about learning, growing and being better versions of ourselves, and for me, being more like Jesus.

We all have crabs in our lives and, for a while, people like this had a huge impact on me. I took it HARD, y'all...so personally. Then I realized I wasn't that important, and it had way more to do with them and their insecurities than me and my own successes. Even so, it would hurt deeply when I fell victim to their pinches. I will not apologize for my crab references. It's just too easy! Even now I find it extremely hard to understand those who cannot be happy for others. In the midst of my own suffering, I've always shown up for my friends and been their biggest cheerleader. Side note: if you don't do this, you're probably a crab. Love you mean it, but ya gotta work on this.

So, what do you do when the pinchers (LOL) leave scars? Or maybe they just won't let go? Maybe you were once sitting on the perfect island soaking up all the sun and now, you're SURROUNDED by blue crabs? Where did they come from? Someone once said, "My haters are my motivators!" #hatersgonhate

For real though, they will and, unfortunately, blue crab syndrome is devastating for all involved. Corporate America is a highly competitive environment, so it is not uncommon to come across crabs. The saying "People like to see you good, but never better than them." Is such a crabby statement! Unfortunately, we can't collect them all and throw them into a boiling pot of hot water and feast later.

We have to learn to unarm the pinchers or, toughen up our skin. Me, I'm a fixer and want to see everyone make it to the top. However, a hard lesson I have learned the last few years--I cannot fix people. I can only love them and try to gently (didn't always do this) correct. But even then, those who don't want correction will not be receptive. We can't control how others react, but we can try to understand them. Understand that hurt people hurt people. "Okay that's so nicey but these crabs are literally ruining my life and stopping me from achieving my goals!"

Stop! No they aren't. It may feel that way and for a long time that is how I felt. I cannot count how many times a crab made me cry or reach out to my amazing flounders (I am committing to the Little Mermaid reference theme. go with it.) for support and guidance.

The best advice? Pray about it. Pray specifically about it. When I began to go to the Father about my crabs, he reminded me HE is the maker of the heavens and the earth. HE orchestrates my steps. HE says no other weapons formed against me shall prosper. Ooh, but they will form. The crabs will pull and pinch, but they won't win.

Extending grace and understanding does not mean acceptance. I will never accept a crab for pinching the literal SHITAKI out of me, but I will put their name on a prayer list and walk away. Yes, walk away. I am not trying to sit in a sandbox and play with a bunch of crabs. Y'all, that's silly.